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Giản thể: 过年的尴尬
中国春节有一个传统叫做“拜年”，主要是晚辈去长辈家拜年，比如，去给爷爷奶奶、外公外婆拜年，还有弟弟妹妹们也会去哥哥姐姐家拜年。春节期间借着拜年，亲友们互相联络感情，每个人都会见到很多亲戚朋友。最近我的朋友们就在微信群里吐槽见亲戚朋友们的一些尴尬事。
丽丽还是一个大学生，过年的时候，她家亲戚就问她：什么时候毕业呀？去哪儿实习？实习有工资吗？能不能留在实习的公司？
有个朋友今年六月研究生毕业，他的亲戚问他：快毕业了，工作找到了吗？待遇怎样？
我认识小美十多年了，她今年二十八岁，是个白领，在上海一家外企工作，单身。她这两年回家，亲戚都会问她：有男朋友了吗？如果说没有，对方就会说：你也不小了，该找个人结婚了。
你看到这里，是不是觉得如果小美有了男朋友就不是问题了？那你就错了，如果她有了男朋友，亲戚可能会问：你男朋友做什么工作？有房子吗？年薪多少？打算什么时候结婚？如果还没买房子，他们可能会问：打算在哪儿买房子？
甚至如果小美结婚了，亲戚们还是会问：什么时候要孩子？打算要几个孩子？
有时候这些亲戚不会直接问我们，会问我们的父母。所以，并不是只有外国人在中国会遭遇关于“隐私”的尴尬问题。其实上一辈的大部分中国人都没有“隐私”这个概念。他们更多的只是想表达自己的关心，虽然我们可能觉得，自己不需要他们这种关心，这种关心只会让我们尴尬。
现在每年大学毕业生越来越多，就业压力也越来越大，所以长辈们会担心我们能不能找到一份好工作。
中国人说：成家立业，先有了家庭，家庭稳定了，才能好好做自己的工作，成就一番事业。所以如果到了一定年龄，还没有结婚，你不着急，身边的亲戚都会替你着急。甚至会给你安排“相亲”，给你介绍一些适婚年龄的单身异性。
所以，春节过后，如果见到你的中国朋友，你可以问问他们，今年亲戚问了他们什么问题，他们一定有很多话题可以和你聊。
Phồn thể: 過年的尷尬
中國春節有一個傳統叫做“拜年”，主要是晚輩去長輩家拜年，比如，去給爺爺奶奶、外公外婆拜年，還有弟弟妹妹們也會去哥哥姐姐家拜年。春節期間藉著拜年，親友們互相聯絡感情，每個人都會見到很多親戚朋友。最近我的朋友們就在微信群裡吐槽見親戚朋友們的一些尷尬事。
麗麗還是一個大學生，過年的時候，她家親戚就問她：什麼時候畢業呀？去哪兒實習？實習有工資嗎？能不能留在實習的公司？
有個朋友今年六月研究生畢業，他的親戚問他：快畢業了，工作找到了嗎？待遇怎樣？
我認識小美十多年了，她今年二十八歲，是個白領，在上海一家外企工作，單身。她這兩年回家，親戚都會問她：有男朋友了嗎？如果說沒有，對方就會說：你也不小了，該找個人結婚了。
你看到這裡，是不是覺得如果小美有了男朋友就不是問題了？那你就錯了，如果她有了男朋友，親戚可能會問：你男朋友做什麼工作？有房子嗎？年薪多少？打算什麼時候結婚？如果還沒買房子，他們可能會問：打算在哪兒買房子？
甚至如果小美結婚了，親戚們還是會問：什麼時候要孩子？打算要幾個孩子？
有時候這些親戚不會直接問我們，會問我們的父母。所以，並不是只有外國人在中國會遭遇關於“隱私”的尷尬問題。其實上一輩的大部分中國人都沒有“隱私”這個概念。他們更多的只是想表達自己的關心，雖然我們可能覺得，自己不需要他們這種關心，這種關心只會讓我們尷尬。
現在每年大學畢業生越來越多，就業壓力也越來越大，所以長輩們會擔心我們能不能找到一份好工作。
中國人說：成家立業，先有了家庭，家庭穩定了，才能好好做自己的工作，成就一番事業。所以如果到了一定年齡，還沒有結婚，你不著急，身邊的親戚都會替你著急。甚至會給你安排“相親”，給你介紹一些適婚年齡的單身異性。
所以，春節過後，如果見到你的中國朋友，你可以問問他們，今年親戚問了他們什麼問題，他們一定有很多話題可以和你聊。
Pinyin: Guònián de gāngà
Zhōngguó chūnjié yǒu yīgè chuántǒng jiàozuò “bàinián”, zhǔyào shi wǎnbèi qù zhǎngbèi jiā bàinián, bǐrú, qù gěi yéyé nǎinai, wàigōng wàipó bàinián, hái yǒu dìdì mèimeimen yě huì qù gēgē jiějiě jiā bàinián. Chūnjié qíjiān jièzhe bàinián, qīnyǒumen hùxiāng liánluò gǎnqíng, měi gèrén dūhuìjiàn dào hěnduō qīnqī péngyǒu. Zuìjìn wǒ de péngyǒumen jiù zài wēixìn qún lǐ tǔcáo jiàn qīnqī péngyǒumen de yīxiē gāngà shì.
Lì lì háishì yīgè dàxuéshēng, guònián de shíhòu, tā jiā qīnqī jiù wèn tā: Shénme shíhòu bìyè ya? Qù nǎ’er shíxí? Shíxí yǒu gōngzī ma? Néng bùnéng liú zài shíxí de gōngsī?
Yǒu gè péngyǒu jīnnián liù yuè yánjiūshēng bìyè, tā de qīnqī wèn tā: Kuài bìyèle, gōngzuò zhǎodàole ma? Dàiyù zěnyàng?
Wǒ rènshì xiǎo měi shí duō niánle, tā jīnnián èrshíbā suì, shìgè báilǐng, zài shànghǎi yījiā wàiqǐ gōngzuò, dānshēn. Tā zhè liǎng nián huí jiā, qīnqī dõuhuì wèn tā: Yǒu nán péngyǒule ma? Rúguǒ shuō méiyǒu, duìfāng jiù huì shuō: Nǐ yě bù xiǎole, gāi zhǎo gèrén jiéhūnle.
Nǐ kàn dào zhèlǐ, shì bùshì juédé rúguǒ xiǎo měi yǒule nán péngyǒu jiù bùshì wèntíle? Nà nǐ jiù cuòle, rúguǒ tā yǒule nán péngyǒu, qīnqī kěnéng huì wèn: Nǐ nán péngyǒu zuò shénme gōngzuò? Yǒu fángzi ma? Niánxīn duōshǎo? Dǎsuàn shénme shíhòu jiéhūn? Rúguǒ hái méi mǎi fángzi, tāmen kěnéng huì wèn: Dǎsuàn zài nǎ’er mǎi fángzi?
Shènzhì rúguǒ xiǎo měi jiéhūnle, qīnqīmen háishì huì wèn: Shénme shíhòu yào háizi? Dǎsuàn yào jǐ gè háizi?
Yǒu shíhòu zhèxiē qīnqī bù huì zhíjiē wèn wǒmen, huì wèn wǒmen de fùmǔ. Suǒyǐ, bìng bùshì zhǐyǒu wàiguó rén zài zhōngguó huì zāoyù guānyú “yǐnsī” de gāngà wèntí. Qíshí shàng yī bèi de dà bùfèn zhōngguó rén dōu méiyǒu “yǐnsī” zhège gàiniàn. Tāmen gèng duō de zhǐshì xiǎng biǎodá zìjǐ de guānxīn, suīrán wǒmen kěnéng juédé, zìjǐ bù xūyào tāmen zhè zhǒng guānxīn, zhè zhǒng guānxīn zhǐ huì ràng wǒmen gāngà.
Xiànzài měinián dàxué bìyè shēng yuè lái yuè duō, jiùyè yālì yě yuè lái yuè dà, suǒyǐ zhǎngbèimen huì dānxīn wǒmen néng bùnéng zhǎodào yī fèn hǎo gōngzuò.
Zhōngguó rén shuō: Chéngjiālìyè, xiān yǒule jiātíng, jiātíng wěndìngle, cáinéng hǎohǎo zuò zìjǐ de gōngzuò, chéngjiù yī fān shìyè. Suǒyǐ rúguǒ dàole yīdìng niánlíng, hái méiyǒu jiéhūn, nǐ bù zháo jí, shēnbiān de qīnqī dõu huì tì nǐ zhāojí. Shènzhì huì gěi nǐ ānpái “xiāngqīn”, gěi nǐ jièshào yīxiē shì hūn niánlíng de dānshēn yìxìng.
Suǒyǐ, chūnjié guòhòu, rúguǒ jiàn dào nǐ de zhōngguó péngyǒu, nǐ kěyǐ wèn wèn tāmen, jīnnián qīnqī wènle tāmen shénme wèntí, tāmen yīdìng yǒu hěnduō huàtí kěyǐ hé nǐ liáo.
English: The Embarrassments of New Year.
One of the traditions of the Chinese Spring Festival is called ‘bai nian’ (1), whereby the younger generation goes to the older generation to ‘bai nian’. For example, they go to their grand-parents to ‘bai nian’ and younger brothers and sisters go to their elder brothers and sisters’ home to ‘bai nian’ By ‘bai nian’-ing at Spring Festival time, friends and relatives strengthen the bonds of friendship and everyone will see many friends and relatives. Recently, some friends of mine, in a wechat group chat, made jokes about the embarrassments of seeing friends and relatives.
Lili is still a university student and at New Year her relatives asked her: when are you graduating? Where will you do your internship? Will you be paid during your internship? Will you be able to stay at the company (after your internship)?
I have a friend who in June of this year will graduate with a postgraduate degree. His relatives ask him: you’re graduating soon, have you found a job yet? What’s the pay like?
I’ve known Xiaomei for over ten years. She’s twenty-eight this year and is a white-collar worker and works for a foreign firm in Shanghai. She’s single. When she returned home over these last few years her relatives would all ask: do you have a boyfriend yet? If she says she doesn’t the others will say: you’re not young any more. You should find someone and get married.
Looking at this do you think that if Xiaomei had a boyfriend then there wouldn’t be a problem? You’d be wrong. If she had a boyfriend her relatives might ask: what does your boyfriend do for a job? Does he own an apartment? How much does he earn a year? When do you intend getting married? If they haven’t bought an apartment yet, they will perhaps ask where they are intending to buy an apartment.
Even if Xiaomei is married, the relatives will still ask: when do you want to have children? How many children do you intend having?
Sometimes these relatives won’t directly ask us; they will ask our parents. So it’s absolutely not only foreigners in China that encounter embarrassing questions to do with personal things. In fact almost a whole generation of Chinese have no concept of ‘privacy’. They just want to express their concern more although we might think that we don’t need their concern. This concern only makes us embarrassed.
Every year there are more and more university graduates and the pressure of getting a job is more and more so the older generation will worry about whether we can find a good job.
Chinese say: Get married and start one’s career – first have a family and only when the family is stable can you do your job properly and have success in your career. So if you reach a certain age and haven’t married yet and aren’t worried about it, the relatives around you will start to worry for you. They will even organise some proposed marriage partners and introduce you to some members of the opposite sex of the appropriate marrying age.
So, after the Spring Festival, if you see your Chinese friends you can go and ask them what questions their relatives asked them. They’ll definitely have many things to talk to you about.
I haven’t translated the Chinese expression here as I believe it describes a Chinese custom that has no word in English. Basically – visiting relatives and friends to pay New Year respects. Apart from there being no expression English, it would be rather cumbersome to translate it each time with the above expression.
– Robert Budzul (robert@budzul.com)
– Zak Gray (zak_lives@hotmail.com)
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