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Giản thể: 留守儿童
相信关注中国新闻的外国朋友对“农民工”这个词并不陌生。几十年前的中国,农民是农民,工人是工人。而现在,随着城市化的发展,很多农民进城,成了工人,也就是所谓的“农民工”。
农民工在城市化的进程中功不可没,但是有多少人想过:他们牺牲了什么?
在我的家乡福建,百分之八十都是丘陵和山地。因为山多,交通不便,早些年,很多人在家种茶叶。后来中国发展了,城市里到处都在盖高楼大厦,需要劳动力,他们就去城里打工。他们的户口在农村,由于中国的户籍制度,孩子不能在城里读公立学校,或者要交很高的费用才能在城里上学。所以大部分人都选择把孩子留在家乡,托付给爷爷奶奶照顾,或者托付给别的亲戚照顾。这些孩子就成了我们所说的“留守儿童”。
留,指的是留下,留在家乡;守,我理解为守望,守望父母的归来。很多留守儿童只有春节才能见到父母。平时只能通过电话和父母联系。父母回家过个春节,孩子与父母刚刚熟悉起来,没多久,又要离开了。
我从五岁开始,寄养在外婆家,直到十一岁才回到父母身边。这样的事情在我们那儿非常普遍。如果你在中国旅行,去一些农村,就会发现村子里大部分都是老人和留守儿童。观察身边的很多留守儿童家庭,我一开始觉得是经济原因,父母为了孩子以后能接受更好的教育,选择去城里挣更多的钱,而放弃了陪伴孩子的时间。后来我们这一代人成长起来了,我的同学有了孩子,我发现他们的孩子也成了留守儿童,交给了在家乡的爷爷奶奶照看。因为一方面,我的同学在城里做生意,不方便照看孩子,另一方面,孩子在城里上学费用也很昂贵。有一次,同学和我说,孩子都不爱和他说话,问我怎么办。
如果父母给孩子的只有玩具,只有金钱,而没有陪伴孩子一起成长,孩子怎么会信任父母呢?或许在孩子心里,他认为自己被父母抛弃了,父母并不爱他。
我曾经看过一些和心理学相关的文章,讲到父母陪孩子吃晚饭是一件很重要的事情,听孩子讲述一天发生了什么,从中了解孩子周围的环境,孩子的变化。对于留守儿童来说,这些都很奢侈。
在我看来,对于已经解决经济问题的那部分家庭来说,观念问题是更深层的原因。在中国,很多留守儿童的父母完全没有意识到陪伴孩子成长的重要性。就像很多上一辈的中国父母不理解同性恋、不理解心理疾病这些概念一样。更多父母关注的是,怎么给孩子提供更好的经济条件,让他们接受更好的教育,怎么给孩子报更多补习班,让孩子未来有更多选择。当孩子毕业了,到了结婚的年龄,父母还要给孩子买房买车。说白了,父母关注的焦点在于,怎样挣更多的钱提高物质生活水平,而忽略了与孩子的情感交流。在父母的陪伴下长大,对很多的孩子来说,真的是奢侈品了。
Phồn thể: 留守兒童
相信關注中國新聞的外國朋友對“農民工”這個詞並不陌生。幾十年前的中國,農民是農民,工人是工人。而現在,隨著城市化的發展,很多農民進城,成了工人,也就是所謂的“農民工”。
農民工在城市化的進程中功不可沒,但是有多少人想過:他們犧牲了什麼?
在我的家鄉福建,百分之八十都是丘陵和山地。因為山多,交通不便,早些年,很多人在家種茶葉。後來中國發展了,城市裡到處都在蓋高樓大廈,需要勞動力,他們就去城裡打工。他們的戶口在農村,由於中國的戶籍制度,孩子不能在城裡讀公立學校,或者要交很高的費用才能在城裡上學。所以大部分人都選擇把孩子留在家鄉,託付給爺爺奶奶照顧,或者託付給別的親戚照顧。這些孩子就成了我們所說的“留守兒童”。
留,指的是留下,留在家鄉;守,我理解為守望,守望父母的歸來。很多留守兒童只有春節才能見到父母。平時只能通過電話和父母聯繫。父母回家過個春節,孩子與父母剛剛熟悉起來,沒多久,又要離開了。
我從五歲開始,寄養在外婆家,直到十一歲才回到父母身邊。這樣的事情在我們那兒非常普遍。如果你在中國旅行,去一些農村,就會發現村子里大部分都是老人和留守兒童。觀察身邊的很多留守兒童家庭,我一開始覺得是經濟原因,父母為了孩子以後能接受更好的教育,選擇去城裡掙更多的錢,而放棄了陪伴孩子的時間。後來我們這一代人成長起來了,我的同學有了孩子,我發現他們的孩子也成了留守兒童,交給了在家鄉的爺爺奶奶照看。因為一方面,我的同學在城裡做生意,不方便照看孩子,另一方面,孩子在城裡上學費用也很昂貴。有一次,同學和我說,孩子都不愛和他說話,問我怎麼辦。
如果父母給孩子的只有玩具,只有金錢,而沒有陪伴孩子一起成長,孩子怎麼會信任父母呢?或許在孩子心裡,他認為自己被父母拋棄了,父母並不愛他。
我曾經看過一些和心理學相關的文章,講到父母陪孩子吃晚飯是一件很重要的事情,聽孩子講述一天發生了什麼,從中了解孩子周圍的環境,孩子的變化。對於留守兒童來說,這些都很奢侈。
在我看來,對於已經解決經濟問題的那部分家庭來說,觀念問題是更深層的原因。在中國,很多留守兒童的父母完全沒有意識到陪伴孩子成長的重要性。就像很多上一輩的中國父母不理解同性戀、不理解心理疾病這些概念一樣。更多父母關注的是,怎麼給孩子提供更好的經濟條件,讓他們接受更好的教育,怎麼給孩子報更多補習班,讓孩子未來有更多選擇。當孩子畢業了,到了結婚的年齡,父母還要給孩子買房買車。說白了,父母關注的焦點在於,怎樣掙更多的錢提高物質生活水平,而忽略了與孩子的情感交流。在父母的陪伴下長大,對很多的孩子來說,真的是奢侈品了。
Pinyin: Liúshǒu értóng
Xiāngxìn guānzhù zhōngguó xīnwén de wàiguó péngyǒu duì “nóngmín gōng” zhège cí bìng bù mòshēng. Jǐ shí nián qián de zhōngguó, nóngmín shì nóngmín, gōngrén shì gōngrén. Ér xiànzài, suízhe chéngshì huà de fāhǎn , hěnduō nóngmín jìnchéng, chéngle gōngrén, yě jiùshì suǒwèi de “nóngmín gōng”.
Nóngmín gōng zài chéngshì huà de jìn chéng zhōng gōng bùkě méi, dànshì yǒu duōshǎo rén xiǎngguò: Tāmen xīshēngle shénme?
Zài wǒ de jiāxiāng fújiàn, bǎi fēn zhī bāshí dōu shì qiūlíng hé shāndì. Yīnwèi shān duō, jiāotōng bùbiàn, zǎo xiē nián, hěnduō rén zàijiā zhòng cháyè. Hòulái zhōngguó fāzhǎn le, chéngshì lǐ dàochù dōu zài gài gāolóu dàshà, xūyào láodònglì, tāmen jiù qù chéng lǐ dǎgōng. Tāmen de hùkǒu zài nóngcūn, yóuyú zhōngguó de hùjí zhìdù, háizi bùnéng zài chéng lǐ dú gōnglì xuéxiào, huòzhě yào jiāo hěn gāo de fèiyòng cáinéng zài chéng lǐ shàngxué. Suǒyǐ dà bùfèn rén dōu xuǎnzé bǎ háizi liú zài jiāxiāng, tuōfù gěi yéyé nǎinai zhàogù, huòzhě tuōfù gěi bié de qīnqī zhàogù. Zhèxiē háizi jiù chéngle wǒmen suǒ shuō de “liúshǒu értóng”.
Liú, zhǐ de shì liú xià, liú zài jiāxiāng; shǒu, wǒ lǐjiě wéi shǒuwàng, shǒuwàng fùmǔ de guīlái. Hěnduō liúshǒu értóng zhǐyǒu chūnjié cáinéng jiàn dào fùmǔ. Píngshí zhǐ néng tōngguò diànhuà hé fùmǔ liánxì. Fùmǔ huí jiāguò gè chūnjié, háizi yǔ fùmǔ gānggāng shúxī qǐlái, méi duōjiǔ, yòu yào líkāile.
Wǒ cóng wǔ suì kāishǐ, jìyǎng zài wàipó jiā, zhídào shíyī suì cái huí dào fùmǔ shēnbiān. Zhèyàng de shìqíng zài wǒmen nà’er fēicháng pǔbiàn. Rúguǒ nǐ zài zhōngguó lǚxíng, qù yīxiē nóngcūn, jiù huì fāxiàn cūnzi lǐ dà bùfèn dōu shì lǎorén hé liúshǒu értóng. Guānchá shēnbiān de hěnduō liúshǒu értóng jiātíng, wǒ yī kāishǐ juédé shì jīngjì yuányīn, fùmǔ wèile hái zǐ yǐhòu néng jiēshòu gèng hǎo de jiàoyù, xuǎnzé qù chéng lǐ zhēng gèng duō de qián, ér fàngqìle péibàn háizi de shíjiān. Hòulái wǒmen zhè yīdài rén chéngzhǎng qǐláile, wǒ de tóngxué yǒule háizi, wǒ fāxiàn tāmen de háizi yě chéngle liúshǒu értóng, jiāo gěile zài jiāxiāng de yéyé nǎinai zhàokàn. Yīn wéi yī fāngmiàn, wǒ de tóngxué zài chéng lǐ zuò shēngyì, bù fāngbiàn zhàokàn háizi, lìng yī fāngmiàn, háizi zài chéng lǐ shàngxué fèiyòng yě hěn ángguì. Yǒu yīcì, tóngxué hé wǒ shuō, háizi dōu bù ài hé tā shuōhuà, wèn wǒ zěnme bàn.
Rúguǒ fùmǔ gěi háizi de zhǐyǒu wánjù, zhǐyǒu jīnqián, ér méiyǒu péibàn háizi yīqǐ chéngzhǎng, háizi zěnme huì xìnrèn fùmǔ ne? Huòxǔ zài háizi xīnlǐ, tā rènwéi zìjǐ bèi fùmǔ pāoqìle, fùmǔ bìng bù ài tā.
Wǒ céngjīng kànguò yīxiē hé xīnlǐ xué xiāngguān de wénzhāng, jiǎng dào fùmǔ péi háizi chī wǎnfàn shì yī jiàn hěn zhòngyào de shìqíng, tīng háizi jiǎngshù yītiān fāshēngle shénme, cóngzhōng liǎojiě hái zǐ zhōuwéi de huánjìng, háizi de biànhuà. Duìyú liúshǒu értóng lái shuō, zhèxiē dōu hěn shēchǐ.
Zài wǒ kàn lái, duìyú yǐjīng jiějué jīngjì wèntí de nà bùfèn jiātíng lái shuō, guānniàn wèntí shì gēng shēncéng de yuányīn. Zài zhōngguó, hěnduō liúshǒu értóng de fùmǔ wánquán méiyǒu yìshí dào péibàn hái zǐ chéngzhǎng de zhòngyào xìng. Jiù xiàng hěnduō shàng yī bèi de zhōngguó fùmǔ bù lǐjiě tóngxìngliàn, bù lǐjiě xīnlǐ jíbìng zhèxiē gàiniàn yīyàng. Gèng duō fùmǔ guānzhù de shì, zěnme gěi háizi tígōng gèng hǎo de jīngjì tiáojiàn, ràng tāmen jiēshòu gèng hǎo de jiàoyù, zěnme gěi hái zǐ bào gèng duō bǔxí bān, ràng háizi wèilái yǒu gèng duō xuǎnzé. Dāng háizi bìyèle, dào liǎo jiéhūn de niánlíng, fùmǔ hái yào gěi háizi mǎifáng mǎi chē. Shuōbáile, fùmǔ guānzhù de jiāodiǎn zàiyú, zěnyàng zhēng gèng duō de qián tígāo wùzhí shēnghuó shuǐpíng, ér hūlüèle yǔ háizi de qínggǎn jiāoliú. Zài fùmǔ de péibàn xià zhǎng dà, duì hěnduō de háizi lái shuō, zhēn de shì shēchǐ pǐnle.
English: Left-behind Children
I believe that foreigners who pay attention to Chinese news will not be strangers to the word ‘nong min gong’. In the China of several tens of years ago, peasants were peasants and workers were workers. But now, following the urbanisation that has followed growth, many peasants have come to the cities and have become ‘gongren’ – the so called ‘nong min gong’.
The contributions of migrant workers to the process of urbanisation must be recognised but how people have wondered: what have they sacrificed?
Eighty percent of my home town province of Fujian is hills and mountains. Because of the many mountains, up until several years ago many people cultivated tea at home. Now China has developed and everywhere in the cities tall building are being built and there is a need for labour so they go to cities to work. Their wukou is in the countryside and because of the Chinese system of registered permanent residence their children are not permitted to study at public schools in the city or they have to pay high fees for them to study in the city. So most people choose to leave their children in their home village in the care of grandparents or other relatives. These children become so-called ‘liu shou er tong’.
‘Liu’ refers to ‘left behind’, left behind in the village; ‘shou’ I understand as ‘shouwang’, to keep watch until the parents’ return. Many left behind children only see their parents at Chinese New Year. Normally they only have contact with their parents by phone. When the parents come home for Chinese New Year the children have just got to know them again but after a short time they have to leave again.
From the age of five I was sent to be brought up at my grandmother’s house right up to the age of eleven when I returned to my parents’ side. This sort of thing is very common where I come from. If you travel in China and go to some villages you will notice that in the villages there are mostly only old people and left behind children. Observing many families around me with left behind children I began to think that it is for economic reasons: so that the children can later receive better education, the parents choose to move to the city to make more money and renounce time that they could be spending with their children. Later when my generation began to become older and my generation began to have children I discovered that their children also became left behind children, handing them over to grandparents in the home villages to look after. Because for one, my classmates had businesses in the city and two, the education costs for children in the city are extremely high. One time a classmate of mine mentioned to me that his/her children didn’t like to talk to him/her and s/he asked me why.
If the only thing parents give their children is toys and money and haven’t accompanied their children as they grew up, how will the children trust their parents? Perhaps in the children’s mind they believe they’ve been abandoned by their parents and their parents don’t love them in the slightest.
I once read some articles about psychology which mentioned that it is very important for parents to eat meals with their children, to hear their children describe what had happened to them during the day, in this way understanding the surroundings the child is living in, understanding how the child is changing. For left behind children this is a luxury.
The way I see it, for this families that have already solved their economic problems it’s the problem with their way of thinking which is the cause at a deeper level. In China, many parents of left behind children don’t realise at all the importance of being with their children as they grow up. Just as many Chinese parents of the previous generation had no understanding of concepts such as homosexuality and mental illness. Most parents concern themselves with how to provide their children with better economic conditions. Have them receive better education, give them the opportunity for extra lessons, allow their children to have more choices in their future. After their children have graduated and have reached marrying age the parents will also buy them a house and a car. To put it in plain language, the focus of the parents’ concern is how to make more money to raise their material level and they neglect exchange of feelings with their children. For many children, to grow up with the accompaniment of their parents really is a luxury.
Note that the word ‘worker’ doesn’t really capture the essence of the word 工人.
Robert Budzul robert@budzul.com)
Zak Gray zak_lives@hotmail.com)
Sarah Wang tethyssa3@gmail.com